Farewell Google

I've talked about leaving Google for quite some time now -- basically since the day I was hired back in August of 2003. Come to think of it, I was never supposed to stay here very long. I remember almost getting another job in Redwood City teaching, and analyzing other job prospects in the Google snackroom. Any other job would have really altered the course of the last couple of years, though. Crazy, huh? Hard to believe that two years rolled by. I guess what they say is true -- life happens when you're planning the next step.

There were certainly the best of times at Google. I remember the bright-eyed spirit of my temp class; we were all right out of college, optimistic, and hoping to get hired on permanently and move up the ranks to bigger and better things. It was like being in school again, cheering your classmates on. Four weeks into the process, as the novelty of unlimited organic snacks and beverages wore off and we realized that people would actually get fired ("let go"), we commiserated over fried food and trivia at the Sports Page on Shoreline. Neverthless, we remained hopeful. I distinctly remember my favorite day that summer of 2003 -- the day our network went down and we got to leave work midday. ;-) Melissa, Eddie, myself, and a couple of others drove up to San Francisco and played outside all afternoon. Slides and tire swings are simply awesome at any age. At that point, we all wanted to get hired so bad it hurt. It was strange that feeling of wanting something just because you should want it -- I think only those who went through the temp program will really understand what I mean by this.

Which brings me to the worst of times. I remember my bitter disappointment when one of my best pals in the temp class didn't get hired and instead, moved back to Maryland. A long-distance AIM friendship ensued...I lobbied for my friend when another friend of his passed around a petition to reverse his dismissal. It failed. That was the first time I realized that persuasive and cogent arguments didn't always work in the business world. A year into the job, I also remember the lows when so many doors seemed to be shut, and I felt drowned in a sea of angry emails. Again, only people I've worked with will really understand the bane of the never-ending email queue and the drudgery of having nothing to look forward to except lunch. The worst day was definitely the day during which I cried for a half-hour in my manager's office about hating my job followed by another hour in the parking lot to collect myself; I don't think I ever told anyone about that afternoon. I knew then that something needed to change, even if it was just my attitude.

Most of the time, though, my work-life has been somewhere in between these two extremes. There were countless little moments that I have yet to fully appreciate without the advantage of retrospect. What I will miss most (besides the free meals, company attire, and ridiculously lavish off-sites of course) are the friends who have become very dear to me. I will miss the long and short lunch conversations, rooming together at company trips, working out together at the office gym, shopping with our bonuses, going dancing, enjoying our thematic potluck tradition, and the many, many hours spent chatting online about anything and everything (usually boys, but we *sometimes* expanded to other areas as well). I'm beginning to realize that I had a rare opportunity to make not just peers, but real friends, in the workplace. For that, I am extremely thankful and don't regret at all the I spent at an otherwise thankless job. And now I'm going to end this entry here before anything tear-worthy pops out.

Peace out, Google.